Right now my girl is napping in her crib in her room for the first time. 6 months into her life. And there were no tears (this time) - she just passed out the minute I put her down.
I am far from an expert. I'm a first time mom. But when people reference crying it out, I cringe. Our LO never cried it out. She screamed it out, she shrieked it out, but she never cried herself to sleep successfully (in the traditional CIO sense).
As new parents in a co-sleeping arrangement (not bed sharing, room sharing), we made sure not to touch the baby until she started crying. We let her grunt, moan, make all kinds of noise without our interference. No one told us to expect or do this, we just went on gut. She really didn't need us until she cried, right?
This was at night - naps didn't come so easy. We tried everything to get her to nap independently. We held her until she was dead asleep and put her in a little bassinet from the pack n play. Occasionally she would nap well like that. But most of the time she'd nap for 15 minutes on her own and then freak out.
So we moved to the "sleep begets sleep" mindset and allowed her to nap on us in order to preserve good nighttime sleep (which she always got). We held her for naps, trying to put her in a travel crib on occasion.
At 4.5 months it seemed time to try to put her down. So we put her in the travel crib for naps "drowsy but awake." And she would scream until she was red faced. One time I let it go for 45 minutes. I had to step out of the house. She never calmed down in the 45 minutes. It was like a train gaining momentum - there was no stopping her crying until you picked her up. We tried pick up put down. Nothing worked. We worried she'd nap on us forever.
Then one day, I decided to feed her, soothe her to almost asleep, and place her in the crib. If she woke up when I put her down, I'd just try again. Sure enough, it worked. When she was old enough, she was ready to sleep independently. And once we did that, she moved to the crib so easily. Until today, at 6.5 months, she'd napped in a travel crib in our living room and slept her her nursery upstairs. But right now she is napping in her crib alone.
Sure, she is relying heavily on sleep associations - blackout curtains, noise makers, etc. But we did not have to resort to sleep training. Honestly, I couldn't handle it. I had the luxury of being at home for the months I think she needed to mature into a good independent sleeper.
So whenever anyone tries to push crying it out or sleep training on a new mom, I have to stop myself from interjecting with, maybe your baby just isn't ready. It's not like they'll be napping on you at 15. Why do we go from a baby's crying being something you respond to, to something you ignore? Why do we insist on these one approach fits all models? And when we do insist on them, they become biblical, more preachy than guidance?
I think the women who need CIO, great, you have it there for you. For everyone else, it's okay if we leave it.
I am far from an expert. I'm a first time mom. But when people reference crying it out, I cringe. Our LO never cried it out. She screamed it out, she shrieked it out, but she never cried herself to sleep successfully (in the traditional CIO sense).
As new parents in a co-sleeping arrangement (not bed sharing, room sharing), we made sure not to touch the baby until she started crying. We let her grunt, moan, make all kinds of noise without our interference. No one told us to expect or do this, we just went on gut. She really didn't need us until she cried, right?
This was at night - naps didn't come so easy. We tried everything to get her to nap independently. We held her until she was dead asleep and put her in a little bassinet from the pack n play. Occasionally she would nap well like that. But most of the time she'd nap for 15 minutes on her own and then freak out.
So we moved to the "sleep begets sleep" mindset and allowed her to nap on us in order to preserve good nighttime sleep (which she always got). We held her for naps, trying to put her in a travel crib on occasion.
At 4.5 months it seemed time to try to put her down. So we put her in the travel crib for naps "drowsy but awake." And she would scream until she was red faced. One time I let it go for 45 minutes. I had to step out of the house. She never calmed down in the 45 minutes. It was like a train gaining momentum - there was no stopping her crying until you picked her up. We tried pick up put down. Nothing worked. We worried she'd nap on us forever.
Then one day, I decided to feed her, soothe her to almost asleep, and place her in the crib. If she woke up when I put her down, I'd just try again. Sure enough, it worked. When she was old enough, she was ready to sleep independently. And once we did that, she moved to the crib so easily. Until today, at 6.5 months, she'd napped in a travel crib in our living room and slept her her nursery upstairs. But right now she is napping in her crib alone.
Sure, she is relying heavily on sleep associations - blackout curtains, noise makers, etc. But we did not have to resort to sleep training. Honestly, I couldn't handle it. I had the luxury of being at home for the months I think she needed to mature into a good independent sleeper.
So whenever anyone tries to push crying it out or sleep training on a new mom, I have to stop myself from interjecting with, maybe your baby just isn't ready. It's not like they'll be napping on you at 15. Why do we go from a baby's crying being something you respond to, to something you ignore? Why do we insist on these one approach fits all models? And when we do insist on them, they become biblical, more preachy than guidance?
I think the women who need CIO, great, you have it there for you. For everyone else, it's okay if we leave it.
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