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Invisible woman

This is probably because I am tired.  But today I'm feeling pretty invisible.  A woman attached to a baby - a baby I love and adore, and do not resent.  She is wonderful even at 4 am (after I get out my slew of curse words and a few tears).  I love her so much and she is the joy and light in my life.  I love our little family, our cocoon.

Instead, I'm feeling some resentment towards those who make me feel invisible, and sad - the ones outside the cocoon.  The ones who say "let me see that baby" and proceed to play with her without looking up once, to see how I - the caretaker, the chauffeur, the vessel - am feeling.  The ones who when we FaceTime don't care if I or my husband appear in frame.  Who forget that in the past year I had a c section, fell down a flight of stairs, lost a tooth and a gallbladder, and am still in nagging post partum pain.

I can cry in the presence of others unnoticed if the baby is around.  I've done it.  I did it today, and am doing it now.  Nothing makes you feel more invisible than being sad and no one noticing.

The baby has been tough today.  I'm trying to break her of a 4 am wake up time and nap times are super important, and so stressful.  Thank god for my husband and father who let me vent all the time!

I would be useless without them.  And my girlfriends, who still take the time to hang out and ask me about RHONY (which yes I do make time for!).

But for the folks who make me feel invisible, or anyone who knows a new mom - pause and take a second to ask them (or their husbands, or partners) how THEY are doing.  They will appreciate it more than you know.  Because we love the baby and we know she is adorable and yes, we know you don't get to see her often.  But if you don't see her often, you probably haven't seen us either.

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