Quietly Blogging

This is probably because I am tired.  But today I'm feeling pretty invisible.  A woman attached to a baby - a baby I love and adore, and do not resent.  She is wonderful even at 4 am (after I get out my slew of curse words and a few tears).  I love her so much and she is the joy and light in my life.  I love our little family, our cocoon. Instead, I'm feeling some resentment towards those who make me feel invisible, and sad - the ones outside the cocoon.  The ones who say "let me see that baby" and proceed to play with her without looking up once, to see how I - the caretaker, the chauffeur, the vessel - am feeling.  The ones who when we FaceTime don't care if I or my husband appear in frame.  Who forget that in the past year I had a c section, fell down a flight of stairs, lost a tooth and a gallbladder, and am still in nagging post partum pain. I can cry in the presence of others unnoticed if the baby is around.  I've done it.  I d...

Right now my girl is napping in her crib in her room for the first time.  6 months into her life.  And there were no tears (this time) - she just passed out the minute I put her down. I am far from an expert.  I'm a first time mom.  But when people reference crying it out, I cringe.  Our LO never cried it out.  She screamed it out, she shrieked it out, but she never cried herself to sleep successfully (in the traditional CIO sense). As new parents in a co-sleeping arrangement (not bed sharing, room sharing), we made sure not to touch the baby until she started crying.  We let her grunt, moan, make all kinds of noise without our interference.  No one told us to expect or do this, we just went on gut.  She really didn't need us until she cried, right? This was at night - naps didn't come so easy.  We tried everything to get her to nap independently.  We held her until she was dead asleep and put her in a little bassinet from the...

Dear Momma coming home from hospital, You got this.  That percoset fueled glaze from your C-Section and 18 hour labor will soon be replaced with a lack of sleep.  You'll savor getting four hours of sleep in a row like someone without kids enjoys sleeping in.  Keep chocolate around.  It'll be a great reward for getting up in the middle of the night to try and breastfeed.  Have everyone who is not related to you over at once.  This is why god created sip and sees.  You do not want people visiting unless they will do chores while you breastfeed from the comfort of your couch (thanks family!). I know feeding the baby was tough in the hospital.  Impossible actually.  But breastfeeding will get easier.  And if it doesn't, formula is your friend!  Remember how the baby wouldn't eat right away, so you spent every two hours shoving a breast in her mouth begging her to at least try?  So many tears, so much pain!  And when all el...