Quietly Blogging

I hate even writing a post about nighttime because ours have been going so well with our LO these past few weeks.  But last night she woke at a different, earlier hour.  And I was quick to lay blame on lots of things - she didn't go to bed early enough, she napped too late, she didn't get enough milk.  I don't react superbly when there's an appearance of a pattern that disappears (she slept well for 3 days straight), I rightfully tick my husband off too with my excuses and overly emotional reaction. My husband is right, I know he is - but logic escapes me at 1 in the morning.  She is a baby.  Our little unpredictable creature who has been very good to us in the sleep department, is going to have nights where she wakes up and wants to eat/cuddle/fuss/poop.  It's nobody's fault, except nature. I take it as my fault, too, if she wakes up AGAIN too early after a night feeding.  Did I not feed her long enough?  Did I eat something strange?  I ...

Our baby makes a lot of noise for something that can't talk yet.  Sometimes it feels like we took on an old sailor as a boarder.  She farts like an old man, and passes out after drinking a lot of milk (and pukes if she has too much, and she doesn't know her own limits). And now as I type, over the baby monitor all I hear are grunting noises.  We googled it, and it's common for babies to make such noises (and, apparently, sleep with their eyes open). It's fine when you've gotten enough sleep, but when she does it as she is falling asleep... needless to say I wear one earplug to bed to help deafen the noise. When the noises aren't driving us crazy, my husband and I laugh about it.  We call her our gremlin.  Cute, but temperamental as F***.

It took me almost 30 minutes to get my girl to nap today.  Everytime I thought she'd settled, she'd start to try to tear my shirt off and bury her face in my chest.  It's seemingly code for "I'm hungry" but I learned last week - after giving in a couple of times - that she nurses herself to sleep in a matter of minutes if she does this.  I'm not really into "non-nutritive" nursing.  I'd prefer we bond by playing together, or napping together.  Nothing annoys me more about breastfeeding than her "snacking." So I get a moment to post!  And I am super cabin feverish.  I need to send this carrier pidgeon out into the world to remind myself I still exist outside the four walls of our living room (which are closing in on me as they pile up with kid crap).  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE our daughter.  I'd prefer to love her in 60 degree weather at a park though than under several feet of snow.  I pushed her stroller in the parking l...